Escargo-go

If your dinner is shorter than two hours, it should be at the bar

A civilized custom in Italy is described by Trish Hall in the New York Times's Bitten blog. Like many Milanese, I've found that a few small plates with a cocktail makes for a fine dinner if you plan to walk about afterward. Or go to a movie or play. Or do just about anything other than spend the entire evening at the dinner table, which is the only way you can eat and digest a large meal at a healthy pace:

With our drinks came an invitation to help ourselves to stuzzichini. You’d think that would mean a few puff pastry things filled with cheese and maybe a pretzel or two, but this was on an entirely different qualitative and quantitative level. There were slices of spinach frittata; seafood salad, rice salad and other composed salads; vinegar-glazed onions; two different kinds of stuffed eggplant; other roasted vegetables; cheese; canapés and little sandwiches of many kinds -- all manner of salamis and hams, for instance; something like garlic bread; mini pizzas; olives; bread. And, yes, a few puff pastry things filled with cheese. But no pretzels.

The backlash against locally produced food proceeds apace

Next on the agenda: Spread rumors about rats in bake-sale items.

Stop telling me to cook at home!

The New York Times Magazine has another scolding of people (like me) who eat mostly take-out and pre-prepared food, this time in a profile of Jamie Oliver:

...this British celebrity chef has made it his mission in recent years to break people’s dependence on fast food, believing that if they can learn to cook just a handful of dishes, they’ll get hooked on eating healthfully. The joy of a home-cooked meal, rudimentary as it sounds, has been at the core of his career from the start, and as he has matured, it has turned into a platform.

At a trip to the supermarket, Oliver also disparages convenience items:

...how about those packages of cut-up fresh fruit? He shrugged. “I don’t understand why people can’t cut it up themselves. Don’t they own knives?”

I do own knives, but I buy cut-up carrots, and one of my favorite treats in New York is already-cut fresh pineapple at bodegas. If I feel any guilt, it's because of the plastic these items come in, not because I'm depriving myself of character-building kitchen work.

In my case, a major deterrent to cooking is that I live alone, so time spent preparing a meal (and the equal amount of time spent cleaning up afterward) goes into my solitary, anti-social part of the day, which is long enough as it is. Even if I save only 15 minutes by buying a burrito instead of making something from scratch, that's 15 minutes more I could spend with a friend getting a drink after work, or just walking around the city people-watching. (Yes, I could invite friends over and make them dinner, but that's not easy with a small apartment that's missing a dining-room table and is on one of the T's less inviting subway stops.) 

So stop nagging me, New York Times Magazine, unless you want me to stop buying you and spend Sunday afternoon soaking beans instead of doing your crossword.

Matthew Ygelsias also objects, on behalf of working women and people busily downloading MP3s.

UPDATE: Uh-oh. Apparently, my usual breakfast not only lacks the joy of home-cooking, it's also jail food.

The way they save barstools in South Boston?

Someone from my hometown wants to make it easier for bar patrons to take unlimited smoking breaks while keeping claim to their seats. From the Malden Observer:

Once a business purchases [the] cards, the idea is that they will be stacked on the bar, like cocktail napkins, for patrons to pick up and use when leaving beverages unattended to alert other patrons and staff that the owner of the drink intends on returning.

This reminds me of the South Boston tradition of putting out a lawn chair to claim a shoveled-out parking spot, even after almost all the snow has melted.

I have had the delightful experience of finding a seat at a drinking establishment, not noticing the glass with about a quarter-inch of beer parked on the bar, then chatting with friends for about 20 minutes before some guy with nicotine breath orders me off my perch. I don't think he's protecting his beverage; I think he likes being able to stroll around and chat up people without sacrificing his seat.

If these "out smoking" cards become legit, may I suggest some others to level the playing field? How about "outside until Billy Joel song is over"? Or "taking a break because I've heard my friend's story 500 times already"?